If I love you and you know that I do, that I'd take a bullet for you. ...Does it matter.
You have my heart and I'd do anything just to show you I'd never hurt you again.
I'd give you the world all because you stole my heart.
I love you.
If I hurt you "played" you and hurt you. If I made a mistake and would give anything to turn back the time. I said sorry a thousand times, I cried to ease the pain I felt. I hurt you and myself.
Im sorry I hurt you.
If I love you and I hurt you and myself, If I love you and promise never to hurt you again, If I love you but made a mistake...
Could you ever forgive me? Would you ever forgive me?
Would you hold it against me if I could promise to love you for the rest of your life?
Does it balance out? .... Does the love over power what I've already done?
All I know is that I love you and even though the hurt hurts it shouldn't kill the love that's forever.
Like I've said before...
I'm sorry, I miss you & I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me.
Maybe we can begin a new.?
Thursday, August 22, 2013
Wednesday, August 21, 2013
Deleted! I want you
Whew! after giving out my number and regretting it immediately I found a way to remove that person from ever calling or msging me. Thank the Lord above in Heaven!!!
I still consider you mine so this work leave has come to an end im starting back work next week so i can make my money and go back to how things were when I met you, in school, living alone, and working and somehow doing it on only savings and the money i was making. No assistance Just providing for myself. Time for you to relax and I'll work the 12 to 14 hour shift and take care of my baby lol.
Crazy Im not, Just want what is rightfully mine back so yea I may seem a little crazy due to the things I say and do but oh well.
All I know is I put my name on it! So don't be taking no numbers, staying up past 10:30 talking; got me wonder who the hell you talking to.
If your ass is snooping then my ass can be crazy. Its only fair :)
I still consider you mine so this work leave has come to an end im starting back work next week so i can make my money and go back to how things were when I met you, in school, living alone, and working and somehow doing it on only savings and the money i was making. No assistance Just providing for myself. Time for you to relax and I'll work the 12 to 14 hour shift and take care of my baby lol.
Crazy Im not, Just want what is rightfully mine back so yea I may seem a little crazy due to the things I say and do but oh well.
All I know is I put my name on it! So don't be taking no numbers, staying up past 10:30 talking; got me wonder who the hell you talking to.
If your ass is snooping then my ass can be crazy. Its only fair :)
Only you, I Want
I really am trying to leave you alone but for some reason the more I try to forget you the harder my love for you hits me. I keep telling myself I'm moving past it and I'm going back to the old me but truth is I can't. I refuse to let you leave me. If i have to fight and look crazy then so be it. If i have to do the craziest things to get you back its okay because if it works, looking back I'll smile knowing I fought to keep what was mine.
I'm confused... as much as I want you, I'm trying to move on. Something is telling me you won't be back but something is also telling me keep trying you never know.
Today I gave my number to some guy and Lord knows I felt a sharp pain in my soul, I just wanted to black out and drop to my knees and start crying. Maybe it was the shock of reality knowing that maybe this is how it may be... I'll have to move on and meet other people give my number out to someone who's not you. I wanted to tell him i was talking to someone but my mind told me no, what if you don't come back maybe this is the way to go. I gave him the number and I wish I didn't because even if you don't come back I'm realizing that I need some time to reminisce and to think about all that happened. I need sometime to make peace and my heart needs the time to stop feeling for you.
It sucks that it took what happened and your crazy snooping ass for me to really understand the meaning in everything you've said.
All this love waiting just for you so don't pass it up cause you'll regret it boo, I'll be patiently waiting to hear from you, girl you got to be the one you have to be the one.
all the quotes finally makes sense.
to bad I was too caught up with insecurities now I'm in battle with myself to get you back next to me.
.... Boy you are the one, yea you are the one.
Only you can make this world seem bright only you can make the darkness bright, only you and you alone can thrill me like you do and fill my heart with love for only youuuuuuuuuuuuu!
secretly i think you've put a spell on me I haven't been so crazy ever.
I'm confused... as much as I want you, I'm trying to move on. Something is telling me you won't be back but something is also telling me keep trying you never know.
Today I gave my number to some guy and Lord knows I felt a sharp pain in my soul, I just wanted to black out and drop to my knees and start crying. Maybe it was the shock of reality knowing that maybe this is how it may be... I'll have to move on and meet other people give my number out to someone who's not you. I wanted to tell him i was talking to someone but my mind told me no, what if you don't come back maybe this is the way to go. I gave him the number and I wish I didn't because even if you don't come back I'm realizing that I need some time to reminisce and to think about all that happened. I need sometime to make peace and my heart needs the time to stop feeling for you.
It sucks that it took what happened and your crazy snooping ass for me to really understand the meaning in everything you've said.
All this love waiting just for you so don't pass it up cause you'll regret it boo, I'll be patiently waiting to hear from you, girl you got to be the one you have to be the one.
all the quotes finally makes sense.
to bad I was too caught up with insecurities now I'm in battle with myself to get you back next to me.
.... Boy you are the one, yea you are the one.
Only you can make this world seem bright only you can make the darkness bright, only you and you alone can thrill me like you do and fill my heart with love for only youuuuuuuuuuuuu!
secretly i think you've put a spell on me I haven't been so crazy ever.
Monday, August 19, 2013
I love my crazy!
Boy you IZ CRAZY! oh my gosh where you come from? You must be psychic telling me all these things but whatever Im not tripping, Im crazy and if I had the time I would be doing the same crazy shit your doing. Id be just as "Smart" as you. Im crazy certified by the doctors so your crazy doesnt bother me. I f anything it excites me! lol Im weird I know. But its okay I love my crazy, Id be just as crazy for you.
(just getting my thoughts out nothing to emotional)
.....
I dont know what to expect most likely another song to shade me out and make me feel horrible but that wont stop me. I put a stamp on it and as much as Im trying to let you go, I just cant. So bring it on deuces, all this love, .... whats next?
Whatever you say my response will always be, Never keeping secrets, I care about you, I wanna know...
#Fight for what you love.
back and forth love goes
(just getting my thoughts out nothing to emotional)
.....
I dont know what to expect most likely another song to shade me out and make me feel horrible but that wont stop me. I put a stamp on it and as much as Im trying to let you go, I just cant. So bring it on deuces, all this love, .... whats next?
Whatever you say my response will always be, Never keeping secrets, I care about you, I wanna know...
#Fight for what you love.
back and forth love goes
Back to last .... December
December before I met you, When I only loved myself. Sitting at home by myself, studying, working and sleeping. I know its my fault only .... understood.
Taking myself back to before ever knowing you. Before the thought of you being with anyone else.
No more memories, calls, plans, no more feelings.
if it was only that easy.
#lis4suckas
Taking myself back to before ever knowing you. Before the thought of you being with anyone else.
No more memories, calls, plans, no more feelings.
if it was only that easy.
#lis4suckas
Friday, August 16, 2013
Return to Sender
A box on the doorstep marked return to sender. You sent it in an envelope so why has it been returned in a large box. You sent an invitation about 8 months ago and i quickly rejected i sent the envelope back many times without opening it. I didn't want to be bothered. Each time i sent it back you sent it right back just as quickly. You amused the brick wall the mail box was on. I finally opened the envelope and the lengthy invitation read hi, :) I would like to get to know you. I huffed and rolled my eyes, throwing the invitation on the driveway ground. Away with that, I wont be fooled another trickster, but not this time I wont offer my self up for hurt. As I turned around to leave the memory behind there it was again in front of me again. on the table and opened so I can see the words clearly. I threw it in the garbage but as i turned there it was again. I burned it and flushed it down the toilet and when i turned a smirk appeared on my face I had won the battle it was gone.
Sleep so sweet, I was happy. I was alone but had all the happiness and riches in the world because I was alone with God. I didnt need anyone nor did I want anyone. I been there done that and I didnt think it was capable. I was hurt and robbed and could only feel a love and happieness for myself. A few months ago I left my heart somewhere. Last time i remembered it was in love, and both his and my heart were happy but somehow things didnt work out he took my heart and shot it, he stood over it while every last pint of blood flowed out, I was close to death laying there I needed a way out. I crawled on my hands and knees and dragged myself out. I only survived because I left my heart behind to die. The toll it had on my body was none without it I coulnt feel hurt, or saddness. I was happy with my life. With no heart you cannot feel.
As I rolled in peace. I heared a crunching under neath me. I got up to see what it was, ... the envelope once again. I laughed this time and placed it on the table. As days went by more words would appear on this letter. Showing an interest for me to attend this /////.
What a persistent mother fucker I said with a smirk and evil in my eyes. I knew if I took him up on his offer I would only go to kill him. I couldnt love, without a heart. I had an empty space and even when I tried it gave me a feeling of utter disgust.
Each day welcomed a different smirk till one day I laughed. I laughed, you made me laugh. Anyone who could make me laugh without a heart deserves a formal meet and greet.
I sent the envelope back with a short reply.
There you were infront of me all smiles like you had seen someone special. I felt bad I had nothing to give. But I decided to meet you again. In between our //// i began to smile everytime you called and would often think about you and laugh. It took a while for me to realize I began to like you. By the time I realized there was no turning back. I cared about you, from where I didnt know. I wanted to be around you when you werent near the things I felt and wanted, I would never tell. I left my heart where my last love had killed it so I couldnt trust you because I didnt know if you came to kill me to. Whatever you wanted I wanst to sure, maybe you just wanted sex, maybe a friend, whatever it was no matter how I felt about you I couldnt trust you. Wrong, I know it was but after what I went through no matter what I had to protect myself.
Trying to protect myself from what I think it going to happen. Falling deep into your heart. I couldnt hlp myself. What would I do when you decided you no longer wanted to be by my side, left to cry never again. I made things complicated. I had to find someone or someones to talk to to take my mind off of you i didnt want to like you but here i was i needed to get a back up before you backed up out the door. Talking to other guys but for the life of me I couldnt remember their name All i wanted was you but did you feel the same?
In my bed we layed down, I asked the wuestion that was eating away at me. ... How do feel about me? You said you really care about me and your falling for me hard. I was happy to hear it but I rolled my eyes and turned the other way what a fucking liar sure after sex youll say anything i dont even know if your who you say you are guys really think their smart and girls are stupid so im supposed to be all giggily and just give you whatever you wnat now right. My mind was saying all these things and never for a second did it stop and say maybe what he said is true.
Insecurities I guess, My mind went on a rampange "if he really thinks hes gonna use me hell no.. let me find someone else to talk to. I should of stayed by my damn self with no one in my life.
It was to late though I had already started to love you and thats why I was so mad, I didnt realize what you had done. I thought I would never have the feelign again but you can and put love back inside, you gave me a new heart. I loved you that was the only thing that mattered, If only you could show me you cared and you werent liieng. I couldnt let go of my insecrities though I let you hurt me a dozen times. I loved you,
but my actions drove you away, you gave me love and i played back up.
What I feared was finally playing out you were walking out the door.
So there i was sending you invitations to come back because I cared but just like I threw them out you did too. I had no other choice to send you the box. I sat around with this pain and love wondering if youd come back. I know I still care and want you beside me. Nothing and no one else mattered. But my insecurities.... I made mistakes. you left.
A box on your step ... so familar to you but why is in a box. you sent the invitation in a small envelop. the smile you sent in the envelop bloomed over time into the love that i have for you. I cant sit around feeling this way so Im sending the love you gave, the laugh, the smile, the tears all back.
Return to sender.
Q.W
Sleep so sweet, I was happy. I was alone but had all the happiness and riches in the world because I was alone with God. I didnt need anyone nor did I want anyone. I been there done that and I didnt think it was capable. I was hurt and robbed and could only feel a love and happieness for myself. A few months ago I left my heart somewhere. Last time i remembered it was in love, and both his and my heart were happy but somehow things didnt work out he took my heart and shot it, he stood over it while every last pint of blood flowed out, I was close to death laying there I needed a way out. I crawled on my hands and knees and dragged myself out. I only survived because I left my heart behind to die. The toll it had on my body was none without it I coulnt feel hurt, or saddness. I was happy with my life. With no heart you cannot feel.
As I rolled in peace. I heared a crunching under neath me. I got up to see what it was, ... the envelope once again. I laughed this time and placed it on the table. As days went by more words would appear on this letter. Showing an interest for me to attend this /////.
What a persistent mother fucker I said with a smirk and evil in my eyes. I knew if I took him up on his offer I would only go to kill him. I couldnt love, without a heart. I had an empty space and even when I tried it gave me a feeling of utter disgust.
Each day welcomed a different smirk till one day I laughed. I laughed, you made me laugh. Anyone who could make me laugh without a heart deserves a formal meet and greet.
I sent the envelope back with a short reply.
There you were infront of me all smiles like you had seen someone special. I felt bad I had nothing to give. But I decided to meet you again. In between our //// i began to smile everytime you called and would often think about you and laugh. It took a while for me to realize I began to like you. By the time I realized there was no turning back. I cared about you, from where I didnt know. I wanted to be around you when you werent near the things I felt and wanted, I would never tell. I left my heart where my last love had killed it so I couldnt trust you because I didnt know if you came to kill me to. Whatever you wanted I wanst to sure, maybe you just wanted sex, maybe a friend, whatever it was no matter how I felt about you I couldnt trust you. Wrong, I know it was but after what I went through no matter what I had to protect myself.
Trying to protect myself from what I think it going to happen. Falling deep into your heart. I couldnt hlp myself. What would I do when you decided you no longer wanted to be by my side, left to cry never again. I made things complicated. I had to find someone or someones to talk to to take my mind off of you i didnt want to like you but here i was i needed to get a back up before you backed up out the door. Talking to other guys but for the life of me I couldnt remember their name All i wanted was you but did you feel the same?
In my bed we layed down, I asked the wuestion that was eating away at me. ... How do feel about me? You said you really care about me and your falling for me hard. I was happy to hear it but I rolled my eyes and turned the other way what a fucking liar sure after sex youll say anything i dont even know if your who you say you are guys really think their smart and girls are stupid so im supposed to be all giggily and just give you whatever you wnat now right. My mind was saying all these things and never for a second did it stop and say maybe what he said is true.
Insecurities I guess, My mind went on a rampange "if he really thinks hes gonna use me hell no.. let me find someone else to talk to. I should of stayed by my damn self with no one in my life.
It was to late though I had already started to love you and thats why I was so mad, I didnt realize what you had done. I thought I would never have the feelign again but you can and put love back inside, you gave me a new heart. I loved you that was the only thing that mattered, If only you could show me you cared and you werent liieng. I couldnt let go of my insecrities though I let you hurt me a dozen times. I loved you,
but my actions drove you away, you gave me love and i played back up.
What I feared was finally playing out you were walking out the door.
So there i was sending you invitations to come back because I cared but just like I threw them out you did too. I had no other choice to send you the box. I sat around with this pain and love wondering if youd come back. I know I still care and want you beside me. Nothing and no one else mattered. But my insecurities.... I made mistakes. you left.
A box on your step ... so familar to you but why is in a box. you sent the invitation in a small envelop. the smile you sent in the envelop bloomed over time into the love that i have for you. I cant sit around feeling this way so Im sending the love you gave, the laugh, the smile, the tears all back.
Return to sender.
Q.W
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